ON BECOMING: My 2 Cents

After I read Toke Makinwa’s book: On becoming, I was lost at what a girl really wanted for herself. I kept asking myself if the ultimate thing for a girl should be to get married no matter what it cost her. Or to just have any man in her life, no matter the baggage he comes with because she believed she was in love with him.

It felt like all Toke wanted was a guy with 6 packs and many British accent to be associated with her life. If not, then, who stays with a guy who
in the first four month of the relationship shows you that he has two other girls in his life? A guy you go visiting and he gives you the world’s most awkward treatment, which makes you feel unwelcomed and then you go back home; upon your arrival you hear about just another girl added to the clan of girls in his life. A guy who stops you from attending his friend’s birthday party because his EX would be attending the party as well… Really?

Initially, when I started reading the book, I felt that Maje was either a wicked person or simply not human. But this perception changed when I finished the book and discussed it with a male friend of mine. My friend went on bragging about how Maje must be a very bad sharp guy. At that point it hit me: Maje didn’t have to do anything, infact the ordeals our dear Toke faced didn’t need to have come from a bad sharp guy, it could have been anybody. Anybody who was tall, dark and maybe handsome – even though handsome might not be one of the attribute I would adorn Maje with if I were asked to describe him, but hey, it is not my call-.

The book had a lot of scenarios that had my eye brows raised  all through but these three questions kept popping up in my head:

Firstly, was Toke obsessed with Maje? Maybe his looks, family, the name or whatever. Because in the book, amidst the whole craziness, one thing that was prominent was the fact that she would look at him and her heart would melt.

Secondly, was it that she was desperate to get married? Maybe she had to prove a point. Like she was chasing a past where either no one got married, or, she wanted to correct a notion some people might have had of her that she would never get married. If not; then, which lady  out there would think marriage immediately after she found out that her boyfriend of 12 years has had a baby all along and never mentioned it to her ever?.

Finally, in her defense, maybe she was in love. Blindly in love… Well, if that was love then I don’t think I want to be in love.

This marriage breakup topic is pretty emotional for me because I have seen one or two people go through divorce and it was a rocky journey for them. One thing I feel that we would all pick out from this book both as single or married ladies is the fact that these guys always give us signs. You basically will see the thing in the guy before you plunge ahead to marry him.

Anyways, was it a good read for me? Yes.

Why was it a good read? Because, I feel that any girl in a funny relationship will learn a thing or two from this story and know when it is time to call it quit. After all, I heard someone say that she called her relationship of 6 years quit when she heard Tiwa and Teebill’s story, because she could see a lot of similarities in hers. The book will teach you that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

One thing that is sure is that the book will keep you glued till the very end which is every writer’s intention. In fact, personally, the business side of this book screams louder to me than the emotional side –which is one smart way to tell your story.

In conclusion, I will say that Unbecoming is a good read for anybody who hasn’t read it yet. It is a book that has great lessons in it. It shows some experience one should be happy never to have gone through and for the single ladies, some you should be happy you heard about before entering into this thing called marriage. Plus it would help you save your time.

I hope she wrote the book with the intent to help guide the parts of a lot of women, I also hope the book meets this expectation.

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……….Talk2urHommie……….