Chronicles of Juju

Episode 5

The Feelings…

I had been dating Tunji for over two years and I was sure that he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. At work, almost everyone knew his name, -yeah, I was that kind of girl, if I liked something; everyone in my world would eventually know about it.

Tunji is an architect and runs a small architectural firm where he designs and builds buildings for clients. He has worked with some top individuals and firms in Lagos and other parts of Nigeria.

Our lives had suddenly become inter twined and each one knew where the other would or should be at every point in time of the day. In the mornings, we left his house together for work and most times he got home before me –I called it, the blissful life of an entrepreneur-, days when he chose to work from home, he was usually sweet enough to make me dinner before I got in from work.

Then something changed. Tunji suddenly got busy, really busy. He was always on his phone, either texting his clients or sending them one picture or the other. He never let his phone out of his sight. At first, I was okay with it, you know, I felt he probably had a client that was too demanding and soon the work would be over and I would have my man’s full attention back. But days turned to weeks and weeks into a month and a month into months.

I decided to hang out with the girls more, to distract myself and prevent my mind from harbouring negative thoughts, but their actions were highly confusing. I started to notice that they never said much when I spoke about Tunji and our relationship.  Was everyone now absent minded or was it just me? I thought to myself and then resulted to stop talking about my relationship with the girls. –Did I hear you say FINALLY?-.

Anyway, this Thursday afternoon, I got a call from the receptionist informing me that Chioma was around and wanted to see me. This was strange, because Chioma never comes to my office, talk more of coming unannounced. So I asked that she be directed to the meeting room beside the reception and quickly met with her to find out what was up. As I stepped into the room, I noticed that she wasn’t her usual self.

“Madam, whatever this thing is; it must be really serious for you to bless us with your presence today o”, I said.

“I just came to check up on you”, she replied, struggling to maintain a smile.

Now, my confusion knew no bounds. “Only to check up on me and you came to my office? What happened to “babes you know how I hate offices, let us just meet at here or there” every time I ask that we meet up at my office?” I asked, then gave her the eye: that eye that says spill the beans already before I beat you.

“I just came to checkup on you and know how you are keeping up. How is Tunji?”

“Fine” I replied, thought about the next thing to say, then I went, “So now that you know I am fine, you can now leave abi?”

“Yes” she said and got up.

What happened next was what broke it for me. She got up, held my chin in her right hand, looked me hard in the face, then hugged me tight. When she finally let me go, I saw tears at the side of her eyes… And that was all I needed. I had no doubt that it was Tunji and I was determined to find out what was going on around me.

The traffic from Victoria Island to Agungi had nothing on me that day because, I left my office at exactly 5:25pm and in 35 minutes, I stepped into the house, Tunji’s house of course, but this time, a strange coldness welcomed me. The bright, cream coloured living room, black and white poker dotted rug and black leather couches seemed to have disappeared, because the house felt really empty. I went into the bedroom we had been sharing for these past months to keep my things and something about it made me feel lonely; deserted is a better word. I sat on the bed, placed my bag on the floor beside me and ran my hands through the bed. The same bed in which we made sweet love on night after night felt different. Suddenly, I felt the urge to cry. Is Tunji cheating on me? I thought and as I imagined him on another lady, a strange weakness engulfed my whole body.

I knew I shouldn’t die of my own assumptions, atleast, I should wait for him to get home and clear up the mess that was starting to build up in my head. So, I picked up myself, went to the kitchen to prepare dinner and wait for him to get back to assure me that it was all in my mind; that Chioma probably had issues of her own and didn’t know how to share it with me; that I was the love of his life and that he would rather die than cheat on me.

Three hours later and he still hadn’t gotten back from work, so I gave up on my hope on having dinner with him and served myself some pasta and a piece of chicken. Half way into the meal, he stepped in and immediately started to explain how he had had a long day at the site; how this client of his was very demanding and annoying; how he was really tired and how much he didn’t want to snatch my appetite away with the smell of his sweaty body if he gave me a hug and rushed into the bathroom to freshen up.

I followed him into the room, picked up his phone from the floor where he had plugged it to charge; then, I felt a strange feeling, I had never gone through his phone or that of any other guy I had dated. I was of the school of thought that if the lady searched her man’s phone looking for something, she would certainly find something. But this night, I was better off finding that something than having my mind play tricks on me.

For the next twenty minutes, I was sure my spirit left my body; my eyes were fully blinded by tears… Oh Yes, Tunji was cheating, but that wasn’t the killer. Tunji was cheating on me with three other ladies…. Oh God, the sweet messages he usually sends to me while I was at work, professing his undying love for me were messages sent to him by some Becky character. Then there was Nneka whom he never missed seeing every day at 5pm, EVERYDAY? And the third one, I cannot even talk about, because thinking about it now, I still have chills all over my body.

I closed his messages, but I knew I needed more evidence, so I went to his photo gallery. All three ladies had folders assigned to them. Wait…Tunji has folders for all the other girls except me, am I that ugly? I thought to myself as I opened each folder to see what the ladies looked like.That was when he stepped out of the bathroom and saw me with his phone, in tears. He sat on the bed beside me and held me tight.

How could the same person who had just divided my heart into 3 equal parts hold me and it still felt right. I turned and hugged him back, then, gave no resistance to the hot tears that rolled down my cheeks. We took this position for what felt like forever, then he pulled me out of the hug and closed his mouth against mine. He kissed me with all he had, as though he wanted to see deep down my soul with his kisses, his tongue doing that familiar magic, that magic that wages war between my head and my body. My head tried to instruct my body to stay still, that the same guy it was about to yield cheaply to just hurt me a minute back, but my body must have left her ears on the dining table, because at that point, my top had been pulled off already and his hand had started doing wonders to my breast, my nipples were hard. He took off my bra like a professional, -one snap and it was unhooked- and began to suck on my left nipple, the right one was ready and started begging his lips to visit it a little.

Now my head started screaming “STOP!!! STOP!!!” at my body, but it obviously waited too long because there seemed not to be a turning point for my body at that minute. Then I felt his warm tongue on my right nipple, I moaned so loud and he sucked on them the more. I withdrew myself to take off the remnant of materials that posed a barricade to this sweetness I was experiencing, then laid on the bed, he smacked my ass and I moaned again.

*************

Oh gosh, I was exhausted; the sex took every single strength I had in me away and I slept off.

I felt cold lips on my neck, confused if I was dreaming this feeling or if it was real, then it moved to my lips, I opened them slightly, creating enough room for the tongue this lips bore to have its way into my mouth. Then, I opened my eyes and saw Tunji in tears. He slowly moved his lips to my ears and gave me whispers of apologetic sermon. He promised me never to hurt me again, told me how he wasn’t sure if I genuinely loved him, how insecure he had been feeling all this while, told me that he was just using the ladies as backups for his emotions. He picked up his phone, went to the photo gallery and I saw that all the pictures were gone, same with the texts messages and Facebook chats I didn’t even know they used to have. I started to cry again. I told him that I loved him with all my life and that he was the only person in my life that meant anything to me.

We had sex again, this time sorrowful but sweet and I dozed off.

Brand new day, fresh lovely air, a just perfect Friday… I was in front of my work system when I sent Chioma a text message saying “I KNOW ALL ABOUT TUNJI AND WE ARE FINE NOW, NOT A WORD ABOUT IT PLEASE, THANKS HUN, SEE YOU AT 5PM, MWAHH!!!”.

Yes, yes, I understand how you feel now, I probably even feel the same way, but it was love or maybe lust or foolishness. It was something, something I just cannot explain, something that made me shut my friends up and kept me blind, oh it was something and that thing ….

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